I meant to talk about this several weeks ago when I heard from her, but never got around to it.  Maybe Memorial Day is a good day to talk of it.  I have an online friend who has gone thru some tough times.

Some of you may (or may not) know that about 5 years ago, I was this HUGE wrestling fan.  Specifically, I loved the Undertaker (Mark Calaway).  I actually had a big community set up for female fans, and a website that was pretty popular.  Once my divorce started winding down, as well as the ending of a relationship that meant a lot to me, I just didn’t want to do it anymore.  It had become a chore and quit being fun.

To date, there are still four ladies that I stay in touch with via email.  It is really strange how something such as crushing on a celebrity can create friendships.

This particular friend I will just refer to as taker…

She had remarried fairly recently, and found “the one” for her.  From what she told me via email, they were very happy together.  He had some heart problems of which she was aware, but they were living life to the fullest and enjoying each other.

A few weeks ago, shortly before their anniversary, he took a turn for the worse and passed away.  She told me how it all came about and what happened, and my heart just ached for her. 

I received, along with several of her other online friends, an email basically stating that she probably would not be online much for several months while she coped with her grief.  After I received that email, I sent her a note to let her know I would be here for her if she needed me.  I have suffered the loss of a relative that hurt badly;  yet I cannot imagine how it must be to have lost the other half of your soul after having that person so briefly.

She sent back a reply, and it just…broke my heart.  So much pain, sorrow.  I tried to be encouraging;  her email scared me. 

I have not heard from her in about a month though I continued sending funny emails to her.  I finally heard from her yesterday.  It seems she tried to take her own life and ended up in the hospital for several days.  She said she doesn’t remember much about that week, but feels it is probably a good thing.  She says she knows she is going to be okay now, and she is obviously meant to go on since she survived both her husband’s death, and the attempted suicide.

I really don’t know why I feel the need to blog about this.  I guess though I have felt sorrow when a relative has passed, felt grief when a relationship comes to and end, even something close to despair…I have never felt what taker has been feeling over the past several months.  And I feel at a loss of what to do or say that can make her feel better.

Just keep taker in your thoughts…I believe she is stronger now. 

And it is Memorial Day…have a great holiday! Don’t forget only those men and woman who lost their lives defending out country…remember YOUR relatives and loved ones who have passed away.  Treat yourself to a good memory or home movie that makes you smile about that person.  I know I will.

And to taker and all those other online Undertaker females that I have met and call my friends…FUA always! lol!